Six Things That George W. Bush Wasn't Responsible For

Here’s an amazing fact…did you know that for the last eight or so years, from just around the 2000 elections till right now, stuff has been happening all over the world that has absolutely nothing to do with George W. Bush? I know, I know, that’s what I thought too, but it’s true. Now that the election’s over and having nothing else to do, I’ve been checking. I was amazed at all the stuff I found that had nothing at all to do with either America or the Bush Administration. I mean, yeah, I knew about that tsunami thing a few years back and I heard about Steve Irwin, but there’s tons of other stuff that happened too.

It’s not that I’m far too parochial in my thinking, although I readily admit that I am. It’s just that when you’re an American suffering under the yoke of the worst President in 230 years, depending on when you start keeping count ( and for those of you too lazy to do the math, you can just read that sentence as in for ever), you start to think that everything has to do with your country and it’s leader.. And I don’t think it’s just me either. Over the last eight years it seems everybody else in the world thought everything that happened…well, everything bad at least…also had to do with the United States and George Bush. But it’s not true.

For instance, did you know that in 2002, Switzerland finally joined the United Nations? Or that in March of 2003, Liechtenstein voted overwhelmingly to give Prince Hans Adam II the right to dismiss governments and approve judicial nominees? This one had slipped by me completely. Apparently, he had threatened to leave the country if his demands for more authority were not met. It doesn’t seem to have worked out that well for him though; this extra responsibility must have been all too much, since that August he announced that he would give up the day-to-day ruling of the country.

I also missed the fact that the Comanche tribe celebrated it’s three hundredth anniversary in 2005. It was in 1705 or so that they had separated from the Shoshone Tribe. Many Happy Returns, guys.

In Mali, also in 2005, a severe locust infestation and drought threatened about 10% of the population with starvation. That was a bad thing. Of course, you could also look at it as 90% of the population weren’t faced with starvation, which is an infinitely better viewpoint.

I also never realized that in August of 2004, Kalkot Mataskelekele was selected from 16 candidates as the new president of Vanuatu. Did you know he’s his country’s first president to hold a university degree? Me neither. A year earlier, Boutokaan Te Koaua, was elected president of Kiribati. By the way, he was reelected in 2007 with 65% of the vote to challenger Nabuti Mwemwenikarawa’s 33%, which presumably leaves 2% for Ralph Nader. I don’t know if he ever went to college like Kalkot Mataskelekele did or not, but it doesn’t seem to have affected him too much if he hadn’t. Of course, my condolences go to Nabuti Mwemwenikarawa on his loss. Maybe next time, dude.

These are just a sampling of things that had nothing to do with George W. Bush over he last eight years, except perhaps Switzerland’s joining the UN, which possibly was a bid to avoid Pre-Emptive Liberation by the United States. And there are at least six more examples of stuff that was even more boring than these that I was too lazy to write about. But let’s face it, if you’ve actually read this far, you’ve reached the end.