Sock, Dryer Manufacturers Reach Agreement

After months of bickering, major manufacturers and distributors of socks reached an agreement with major clothes dryer makers over the commission percentage of socks eaten by dryers.

“We are indispensable to the sock industry”, said Maytag spokesperson Hillard Herzog. “We are simply looking for a share of profits we so richly deserve”.

Turkish sock maker GEL-AL and other sock manufacturers are now installing tiny tracking chips in each sock to determine which socks are being consumed by which dryers.

GEL-AL, which manufacturers 83 million pairs of socks per year, stated that an agreement with Whirlpool,Inc. allows a one percent commission on socks consumed by the machines. Other dryer manufacturers will have pro-rated commission structures based on the number of socks consumed.

“It would be hard to stay in business without the dryers”, said sock manufacturer spokesperson Ritchie LePied.

A spokesperson for Maytag, Inc. claimed they are currently making dryers that take less time to dry, use less energy and consume more socks.

Retailers across the country praised the agreement between the two industries. “It’s great to see companies working together to stimulate the economy”, said Allan Greeley of sock distributer

Some consumers interviewed were not as enthusiastic about the agreement. “I have 27 socks at home that don’t match”, said New York salesman Josh Billings. “Last year I threw away about 30 mismatched socks! This is really pissing me off!”

Major Dryer Manufacturers are also in negotiation with pantyhose and thong makers.