South Carolina Governor Denies Going On Bender

Unconfirmed Sources have learned that South Carolina governor Mark Sanford may have sobered up after a five day drinking binge and will be returning to the office soon.

It would appear the governor had stopped communicating with his office, his family and close political allies. Though only the governor knows for sure why, his wife claimed he took time off to write. Other sources claim he was on a drinking binge and woke up after five days stark naked naked on the roof of the home of a prostitute known only as Trixie.

“There is absolutely no truth to the Trixie rumor”, the governor insisted. “I refuse to be the source of lies, speculation and half truths”.

When asked which half of the story was true the governor refused comment.

If governor Sanford had been drinking and in the arms of a prostitute (I am not saying this is true at all) it would not have been the first time a prominent political figure has been embroiled in a sex scandal. Nearly every male political figure in the past 30 years has had some dalliance with prostitutes. Interns, law students, page boys or other young male or female campaign staffer.

“I realize Unconfirmed Sources is a satire publication and NickFun is a satire writer but may people read these things on Google news and don’t realize they are fabrications”, said South Carolina newspaper editor Elmo Fudd.