Spirit Airline to Charge for Oxygen

In order to maintain their low prices, Spirit Airlines announced today that passengers will no longer be provided with free oxygen from the drop-down masks in the event of an emergency, but will instead be provided with recirculated cabin air unless they pay an extra $10.00 prior to boarding.

“Oxygen is expensive!”, said Spirit Airlines CEO Ben Baldanza. “We can’t afford to just give it away and keep prices low!”

Baldanza further explained that Spirit’s oxygen is totally pure, fresh and meets or exceeds FAA standards. He also noted that most travelers never need the oxygen as the mask does not drop down during most flights.

“You can pay for the oxygen if you think you’ll need it”, he stated. “Personally, I don’t think you do. Besides, if a plane’s going down the oxygen will just keep you conscious! Who wants to be conscious when a plane is going down?”

Spirit Airlines does have an excellent safety record with no crashes since 1992.

Spirit Airlines has come under fire recently for charging to use the overhead bins for bags and insisting that the free bags under the seat contain no more than a shirt, pair of underwear (including bra for the ladies), one change of pants, a pair of socks, a comb and 3 travel size toiletries. Any larger bags will be charged $60.00.

“People travel with way too much stuff when they go on vacation”, Baldanza continued. “We are teaching the consumer to be thrifty in these desperate economic times”.

“We’ll get you from here to there with no extra charges”, Baldanza promised. “But unless you pay we can’t assure that you’ll enjoy getting there”.