Steelers Honor Bush with Super Bowl Jersey

Washington, DC (APE) – In a 14 minute ceremony on Friday at the White House, President Bush greeted the NFL Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, and was awarded a jersey and game football signed by the team. Bush praised the Steelers as possibly being the newest “America’s team” after his preferred Texas team, the Dallas Cowboys, seems to have lost the title. He praised the team’s triumph through adversity and its continually manufacturing comebacks against all odds throughout the season.

“I am a man who’s known for his swagger,” stated the president, “and I am looking forward to dancing with Joey Porter.” A 3-piece Marine Corps band was in the lobby for background music.

The president remained jocular throughout the ceremony up until he was presented with the football and game jersey. Art Rooney II presented Bush with a No. 29 Steelers jersey in recognition of the president’s most recent poor poll performance. Bush, at that point, seemed to become somewhat teary-eyed and at a loss for words. “We certainly are looking for a big comeback from you, Mr. President,” stated Rooney, “the health of our country is depending on it.”

The team will be awarded their diamond Super Bowl championship rings on Sunday as President Bush throws himself into anti-gay marriage legislation. Bush concluded his remarks to the teen by stating, “I hope I’ll be around next year for you to see me come back.”