Stephen Bannon Vows to Deconstruct the State with a Chainsaw

Stephen Bannon gets busy with a chainsaw.

Bannon deconstructions the administrative state.
Bannon deconstructions the administrative state.

(Washington D.C) UCS News  Unconfirmed Sources report that Trump henchman Stephen Bannon has started the “deconstruction of the administrative state.”  A plan which he outlined at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

After leaving today’s CPAC meeting, Bannon took a chainsaw to the White House Rose Garden. Bannon got to work cutting down everything in sight.  He started with the roses themselves, proceeded to some flowering trees, then began work on the White House itself.

Secret Service officers stood by in confusion as Bannon started cutting large holes in the White House.  The sawdust and wood chips were flying as the White House was slowly being reduced to kindling.  Several hours into the destruction Mr Trump arrived to witness the festivities.

After watching for several minutes Mr. Trump took a turn with the chain saw and took down several pillars from the front porch.  Mr Trump dropped the pillars very neatly on the front lawn of the White House.  Trump then took a moment to brush the sawdust from his suit before entering what was left of the Presidential Residence.

While Bannon was working on dismantling the White House another Trump Administration appointee began dismantling his government institution.  Scott Pruitt, the embattled head of the Environmental Protection Agency, began work destroying his agency by lighting up a blaze with some Oklahoma crude oil.

Bannon was last seen strolling down Pennsylvania Avenue  towards the Capitol.

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