Steve Jobs Admits Apple iPad Rumor Mill Malfunction

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that the rumor mills tasked to create rumors surrounding the Apple iPad have been malfunctioning. In a statement released by Jobs he admitted there have been some ‘issues’ with the mills and that Apple was working hard to remedy the situation. He denied that any of the rumors were defective and said they would not be recalling any.

While Apple didn’t release specifics about the problem a close study of the rumors reveals a switch in the mills Apple normally uses to make rumors. Over the last few years Apple has taken delivery of 17 Rumor-Tech B57 Mills, which have been the industry standard for years. Apple uses most of them to keep a steady stream of rumors going, and has several in reserve for special times like the run up to a new product launch.

An analysis of the rumors surrounding the iPad suggests that some of them didn’t come from the B57s. Industry experts are speculating that Apple itself has designed and built a new type of rumor mill and may be experiencing difficulties with them as they operate under exceptional loads. It has even been rumored that new mills may operate in conjunction with the vaunted Apple Reality Distortion Field Generators.

“It comes as no surprise to me that Apple had trouble with their rumor mills during the run up to the iPad launch.” Says tech journalist John C. Dvorak. “They were cranking out rumors like nuts, it’s no wonder things went bad. I know these guys, I know how it works with them, they let it get to there heads over there and didn’t take care of the mills properly.”