(San Francisco) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that a rash of blackouts in Cupertino and San Francisco overnight were caused by Apple. Sources indicate that the problems were created by the extensive use of the vaunted Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field generators. The RDF generators were apparently spooled up to maximum power a few days ago in Cupertino and portable units went online in San Francisco early this morning in preparation for Apple’s coming announcements.
“We see this every time Apple gets ready to make an announcement,” says utility manager Colleen Hathaway. “Apple fires up the RDF generators and puts massive strain on the area’s power system. They really have it cranked up today, I’ve never seen it like this, the air is just a cracklin’ around here.”
Further evidence of the unusual RDF generator activity could be seen with the naked eye as pale auroras floated in the sky over Apple headquarters all night.
It seems clear that whatever Job’s plans to announce today.