Stewart/Colbert '08 campaign split: Colbert to run for President

(Washington D.C.:Ucs News) The Stewart/Colbert ’08 campaign was set into a tailspin today. Following a late night brawl at campaign headquarters Stephen Colbert filed papers forming an exploratory committee to run for President. Campaign staff were faced with a tough choice as Stewart and Colbert fought over office equipment and the petty cash box. The pair forced staffers to take sides as Stewart and Colbert torn campaign posters in half separating the two men’s names.

Those close to the Stewart/Colbert ’08 campaign were not surprised at the split. According to staffers Colbert chafed under Stewart’s constant commands, while he considered Stewart’s positions on major issues soft”.

The campaign’s PR team tried hard to hold the pair together, but it was clear the Stewart/Colbert ’08 campaign was doomed after Colbert demanded Vice President Dick Cheny be water boarded for his role in the Plame leak case. Stewart recommended the justice system “just run its course”. In Colberts words “Too dam soft for my taste.”

Speaking to reporters after the split Stewart commented “I have no hard feelings, I know Stephen will run a tough and fair campaign.” When asked about the split Colbert stated ” I think Jon could be a great President, for those poeple satisfied with second best.” The newly created Colbert ’08 campaign issued a press release just hours after the campaign split.

The Colbert campaign warned Republicans and Democrats alike to “Get your game on” and that the Colbert team would be running a scorched earth campaign that will make Karl Rove look like a girl scout leader.