Students not sure why they're rallying

Citing poor planning, lack of communication, and unconfirmed sources, a group of University of Ottawa students successfully started a rally, but failed to come up with a reason as to what they are protesting. “I don’t know, I guess we just felt like stirring shit up,” reports one student, followed by a lackadaisical shrug.

“With all the problems in the world right now, you’d think we could have decided on something to protest,” mused Jennifer Thompson, one of the rally’s organizers. “I mean, Dean [Allaire], Steve [Moore] and myself were poring through national newspapers for days, looking for something hip and fresh to raise people’s awareness, but no dice. We did read about a Lieutenant dying in a submarine fire, but what would the message behind that be? Don’t go in submarines? Frankly, symbolism doesn’t fare well with crowds.” Thompson then went back to shouting into her microphone.

William MacMillan, professor of political philosophy with the University of Ottawa is severely disappointed in the rally. “Rallies are an amazing way to inform people and garner publicity. How they could screw up something so easy to organize and such a media event is beyond me. It’s foolproof: find a controversial topic, develop a strong argument for one side, and run with it.” MacMillan continued by saying the main organizers were lucky not to be in one of his classes.

Dana Stefanoupoulos, a first year student, is confused at the supposed failed rally. “What? I thought we were protesting the bombardment of bad news in the media. We couldn’t pick one topic to oppose, so we’re showing our blindness and desensitization by not having one specific subject. My placard is blank, to show that words no longer have meaning for me.” Upon hearing this revelation, Jennifer Thompson ran up to Stefanoupoulos and handed her the microphone. “Here, you should lead this. I really only offered to help organize this because I think Dean is hot.”