(Another Boring Summer Re-Run…No, wait…)
The Texas Air National Guard, facing the same enlistment woes as every other branch of the military, has taken the extraordinary step of recalling President George W. Bush back to active service to be deployed to Iraq. Mr. Bush, who nearly served in the Guard in the early seventies was deemed eligible for service despite his current age of 60. An unnamed source in the Guard was quoted as saying, ” We were all sitting around the Officers Club getting drunk one night, trying to figure out how to bring our enlistments back up to meet our quota’s and there was Bush on TV at his ranch in Crawford cutting brush and looking pretty fit. Well, one thing led to another and pretty soon we all crowded back to Headquarters and wrote him a letter demanding he return to active duty. I don’t know, it seemed pretty funny after five or six Alabama Slammers.”
What may have started as a good-natured prank among some drunken Guard buddies just might end in tears. Apparently, when Mr. Bush received the letter from the Texas Air National Guard he immediately took off on Air Force One and went into hiding and now none of his White House staff can locate him. While normally the absence of George Bush for an extended period of time would be no great liability as Karl Rove and Dick Cheney usually handle all the day to day, short term, mid term and long term policy decisions for the Administration, the Presidents disappearing act may become a severe problem during this current mid term election cycle.
Newly named Unnamed White House Source J. A. Nudder, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, ” Wouldn’t you know it, just when we need to trot the little jerk out in public he goes AWOL again…uh, I mean, he goes AWOL for the first time. No, I mean he’s not AWOL at all, he’s never gone AWOL before, he’s just not here right now. Jesus, why do I bother talking to your website? Look, what I’m trying to say is that as soon as he checks in and tells us where the hell he’s hiding, uh, resting, we’re gonna clear up this mess. The idiots who sent that letter have already been re-assigned to Guantanamo Bay