Thanks Pope John Paul, Now Lets Buy Some More Tanks and Bombs

From the right and always right, commentary by Randy Wright.

The President spoke to America today and announced that the nation’s flags will be flown at half mast for three days, which I think is a pretty good tribute to the Pope. But as far as tributes to the Pope go, it’s what the President did after the press conference that gives me hope for a more peaceful world. After the press conference Mr. Bush met with the Joint Chiefs and upped the defense budget 23% to $1.3 trillion.

To some it may sound funny to praise the Pope and then immediately buy more guns, but it makes perfect sense when you realize who we are going to use the guns on. We are going to kill Arabs with those guns, for Christ sake! We are going to defend Christianity from those godless oil smeared heathens in the Middle East with those guns. We are going to make the world safe for our children and our children’s children with those guns. What could be more Christian then that?

Now I know there are people out there who think we should spend our money on more ‘Christian’ things like food and medicine for the poor and social security for the old, but that is defeatist short sighted thinking.

Now I don’t blame you for thinking that, some very smart people have gotten this wrong in the past. Take Dwight D. Eisenhower for example. He once said: “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” What a bunch of bull.

Look at this way, money spent on guns and bombs is good for world Christianity and the American economy. Munitions factory jobs are good paying manufacturing jobs that will be held by Christians. And those munitions factories need steel, so that creates good foundry jobs, whish will be held by Christians. Those munitions factories and foundries will have offices and computers, so we are going to need lots of high paid Christian white collar workers too. These jobs will boost the economy and fatten up the collection plate.

Spending money to support the old, sick and stupid is not going to get our country anywhere. Taking care of the old is wasted money, what are these people going to do for us now? That goes for the sick as well, if they can’t be productive then we should pull the plug, unless like they can help us firm up the Republican base, like Teri Schavio. As far as giving money to the poor, screw’em if they can’t make their own way. It just isn’t the government’s fault or responsibility to take care of these people, who probably don’t go to church anyway.

So here’s to the Pope, may he rest in peace. The world won’t be quite as interesting without John Paul around. But I gotta tell you, I take comfort in the fact that the cardinals will whip up another Catholic front man in a jiffy. We won’t be without a Pope for long. In the mean time well keep buying the guns and killing the non-Christians.

From the right and always right, this has been a commentary by Randy Wright.