The 99% Cheer as 50% of the 1% to be Tried for Tax Evasion

In a stunning IRS crackdown, 50% of the top 1% wage earners in the United States will be tried for tax evasion. Most of the wage earners are raking in over $1 million per year.

“We have discovered”, said IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman, “that at least 50% of the top 1% of wage earners in the United States are reporting only 25% of their income and they have cheated on the remaining 75%!”

Shulman stated that those who are found guilty will be remanded to prisons or houses of detention depending on the percentage of unpaid tax or unreported income.

However, the news was not all bright. Schulan stated that the biggest obstacle to arresting offenders is that the United States Senate and House of Representatives comprise many of the offenders and that they simply need to change the tax laws to avoid prison time for themselves.

GOP Presidential contender Mitt Romney stated that he will also be exempt from the impending arrests. “Granted, I have only paid 10% in taxes on my $40 million profits in the past two years but Congress had authorized that I am exempt from paying any further taxes” he explained. “And I suspect they will find most others one percenters will also be exempt under current and future tax laws”.

Romney said that if he is elected he will make certain that the 1% pay less than 5% in taxes. However, he will increase the tax burden to the middle class.