Tiger Woods Still Wants Sex


Despite spending six weeks in a sex rehab clinic, the worlds number 1 golfer still desires having sex with beautiful women, according to sources.

“His wife (Elin Nordegren) came to pick him up from the clinic”, an unnamed clinician told Unconfirmed Sources. “She was looking pretty hot and it looked to me like he had a boner! Either that or he had a huge banana in his pocket!”

Woods was not allowed to have any sex at the clinic and even masturbation was forbidden. He was forced to undergo group therapy, cognitive behavior therapy and something called “shame reduction” which helps the patient come to terms with the fact that he/she is a whore. Some clinics sometimes require chemical or surgical castration but that technique is rarely used for a first time patient.

Another psychiatrist, who also worked at the clinic and asked us to refer to him simply as “Jay”, said he doubts Tiger has been cured of his addiction. “If I was young, the worlds greatest golfer, had billions of dollars and had incredibly sexy women coming after me all the time I’m sure I’d become a sex addict too! It sure beats meth!” the psychiatrist reasoned.

As Woods and Nordegren came to a traffic light outside the clinic a passerby said he saw Woods driving with a huge smile on his face but he saw no trace of his wife.

“I think she had her head in his lap”, the passerby speculated.