Unconfirmed Sources report that The National Media Council will award Time Magazine with it’s highly sought after Corporate Suck Up Of The Year award. Time won the award for shamelessly pandering to the Bush administration and repeating uncritically all statements made by the President. The news has been greeted with anguish and consternation at the headquarters of five-time winner and favorite for this year’s award, FOX News.
“What an upset.” Said Brooke Gladstone of NPR’s On The Media. “This is very big news and means a lot to Time Magazine and Time’s parent company Time Warner. The victory marks a real coming of age for Time Magazine, with this award Time will find itself in the pantheon of hard core news publications along with People, The Weekly World News and Soap Opera Today. This is recognition that all the hard work put in by Time Warner officials to suck up to regulators has really paid off. I view this as a signal that Time Warner’s requests for further deregulation of Americas media markets will be granted in the coming term. This is nothing but good news for the folks at Time.”
The scene at FOX News could not have been more different. News Corp. executives could be seen stomping the corridors firing low lever producers for not pandering enough to The President and the Republican Party. “This makes me sick!” Shouted the bellicose and often incoherent Sean Hanity. “They stiffed us, those liberal bastards! We are the news outlet of power. We are the most partisan news source in the country. We have won that award walking away for the last three years. To think that