Today In Sports

(Another Summer Re-Run…)

And now for a break from politics, here’s a sports update:

In Baseball, a bunch of guys with fist sized, hard balls did their best to hit them with a big stick as far as they could, while the opposing team did their best to keep their balls from being hit and if they were hit, to catch them before they hit the ground…

In Basket Ball, a bunch of really tall guys with probably the biggest balls in sports today bounced them up and down on a hard wooden floor, trying to keep those balls from being taken by the other team who would then throw them through a wire ring.

In Women’s Basketball, players, seemingly surprised that they had balls at all, did pretty much the same things as the men’s basketball teams.

In American Football, guys with really tight pants tried to stop the guys who were holding their oddly shaped balls, and hopefully make them drop them so that everyone else could jump on them.

In Golf, a bunch of men and women with some of the tiniest balls in sports today, wisely tried to hit their balls the fewest amount of times that they could.

In Tennis, young men and women with fuzzy day-glow balls batted them back and forth until someone missed. Then they did it again.

In Chinese Ping Pong, men, lucky enough to have balls that can float, paddled those balls back and forth across a table until someone missed, sort of like tennis, but their balls got dented if they stepped on them by mistake.

In World Football, or Soccer, they all ran around, kicking their balls back and forth until they kicked their balls too close to a net where a guy jumped out and caught their balls in his hands.

In Rugby, a bunch of guys with more balls than brains just about killed each other out on the field.

In Cricket, hardly anything happened with those balls. In fact. as far as I can tell, hardly anything happened, period.

In Pool people tried their best to poke their balls with the pointy end of a stick, trying to knock them into their pockets.

In Lacrosse, men and women threw their balls back and forth with amazing force using sticks with little baskets on the ends and wearing face masks so someone’s ball wouldn’t hit them in face