Tom Cruise Converts From Scientology To Existentialism

(Los Angeles–CA) Who was that little man coming out of a Starbucks on Wilshire Boulevard wearing a beret and shouting lines from Jean Paul Sartre’s play “No Exit” mixed with profanity at 2PM Thursday? According to TheSmokingGun.com, that was no little man. That was Tom Cruise. Cruise has converted from Scientology to Existentialism. And it seems with a vengeance. TheSmokingGun obtained a copy of the property voucher, which Cruise needed to sign in order to get his personal belongings back after his arrest for disturbing the peace. Under the signature of Albert Camus was clearly visible…Tom Cruise.

Albert Beckett, of the American Philosophy Center, announced the conversation at a press conference yesterday with Cruise in attendance. Beckett said that the conversion occurred when Cruise saw War of the Worlds playing in a Blockbuster window on Robertson Boulevard. “According to eye witness reports, Mr. Cruise smacked his left hand to his forehead and said, ‘I thought The Last Samurai was bad, and now MI III