Tom Cruise to Take Over for Saddam Hussein in War Crimes Trial

Unconfirmed sources report that Tom Cruise will be taking over for Saddam Hussein in an attempt to boost ratings for Saddam’s war crimes trial. The trial which has been plagued by poor ratings and numerous production delays is in danger of being cancelled if it cannot reverse it’s ratings slide. Tom Cruise is already in Iraq and will be taking Saddam’s place in the dock as early as tomorrow. Pentagon executives expect the Cruise Saddam switch will have an immediate affect on the flagging mini-series’ ratings.

In what is being called the role of a life time, Hollywood mega-star Tome Cruise has accepted his most difficult role to date. With almost no training or rehearsal time Cruise will be expected to make a half trillion dollar effort pay off. It’s a huge gamble for the star, but one that fans and critics alike are eager to see.

“I’m truly disappointed that he has accepted this role.” Says fellow super star Russell Crowe. “I mean, it is a great opportunity for Tom, but I really wanted to take the role myself. My agents tells me I was the second choice behind Tom. That lucky dog.”

“This is probably the only thing that could save this doomed program.” Says Hollywood hit maker Aaron Spelling. “The trial has been a total bust. Poor presentation, slow plot development and an utter lack of suspense make this show trial one of the worst I have ever seen. Really, we know how it is all gong to turn out and with Saddam’s spotty performances this thing was headed for a slow agonizing death. With Cruise in the lead