Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff Announce Presidential Bid

Unconfirmed sources report that disgraced political veterans Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff have announced their intention to make a run for the presidency in 2008. The pair has already launched an exploratory campaign committee and is incredibly well funded. Do these two have a tough up hill battle, yes, but smart political types would never count Tom Delay out until the cell door slams.

“This a Republican match made in heaven.” Says strategist Guy Bookman. “With Abramoff’s ability to raise money and Tom’s charm at the top of the ticket, this team is going to mount a formidable challenge. Do they have a few legal hurdles to clear sure, but it’s not like these guys were nailing their secretaries. The things these guys are accused of are more like technical violations of some very complicated and arcane laws that should be tossed out anyway.”

The pair has plenty of money to fund their campaign. With dozens of lawmakers returning thousands of dollars to a void legal troubles, money will not be a problem. Some experts figure that will all the returned booty the Delay/Abramoff ticket will not need to raise money until after the primaries.

While popular wisdom suggests that these two men are bound for some political backwater, experienced Washington watchers think otherwise.

“Do I think Delay and Abramoff have an image problem? Not a bit.” Says Washington insider Charles Krauthammer. “There is no such thing as bad publicity in this business. These guys have dynamite name recognition and that means a lot in the current political climate. All Tom Delay has to do is slip Pat Robertson a few grand, cry on TV and apologize for destroying the American democratic system and the big hearted American public will welcome him back as a sheep who has lost his way but is saved again. All Abramoff needs is a pardon, which I understand is already in the works, and these two are really in business.”

The Delay/Abraomoff campaign has opened an office in New Hampshire, but has not scheduled any events at this time.