Tom Delay Demands a Biased, Corrupt, Republican Judge:

Austin TX, Tom Delay joined his lawyers in court today on the first day of trial for corruption and money laundering. Delay’s lawyer, the infamous Dick DeGuerin, told the Austin judge Bob Perkins he must remove himself from the case. As a result Perkins postponed DeLay’s formal arraignment.

Speaking to reporters outside the court, DeGuerin and Delay explained their demands. “This is a trial about partisan political corruption so we expect to have a biased, corrupt, Republican judge in place to insure the trial is a mockery of justice” said DeGuerin. Tom Delay went on to say “It just wouldn’t be right if we had an actual trial in Texas, this is about power and money not honesty and integrity.

Washington trial watchers in the Bush administration are trying to influence judge selection. The President admitted that he would “rather see a judge in the case more sympathetic to the Republican cause”. Insiders speculate the President may install long time Whitehouse janitor and Bush loyalist Barney Flips. Austin Prosecutor Ronnie Earle complained “We don’t live in a country where political party determines the measure of justice,”

Dick DeGuerin is well know for his aggressive style. Long time critics of DeGuerin state that “Dick would tear down the entire legal system before he let a client go to jail”. This seems to match Tom Delays style of government. Delay’s partisan slash and burn politics combined with abuse of money and power have led to the near collapse of our democratic system. But Tom’s not a bad man that’s just the way he is.