LONDON – British Prime Minister Tony Blair announced Thursday that he will resign from his job leading the government of the United States’ most important ally.
“Today I announce my decision to stand down from my leadership of the Labor party”, Blair said, “On the 27th of June, I will tender my resignation.”
Awakened at 5 A.M. by an aide who brought him the news, President Bush immediately placed a call to Blair offering him a job.
“Tony boy, they want to get rid of me also, but I run this country!” said Bush. I have a great job for you, Tony. ‘War czar!’ What do you think? Between us we can bring peaceful democracy to Iraq, have unlimited oil flow to our countries, bring the joys of Christianity to those heathens and teach them to speak English. I got a nice guest cottage down at Crawford, and you can forget all that tea and crumpet crap and eat real Texas grub; barbecued hog and buffalo chips instead of fish and chips!”
” By jove, that sounds great, George” beamed Blair. ” What does a ‘war czar do?”
” I really have no idea, Tony. All you have to do is agree with everything I propose. You’ll join my exclusive group of appointees who had absolutely no qualifications, skill, experience or aptitude for what I picked them for; Harriet Miers, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Alberto Gonzales,Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Michael Chertoff, Tom Ridge, Michael Brown, John Bolton…..but they all are loyal friends…like you, Tony!”
” I would be proud to join such an illustrious group, George. I accept with gratitude! War czar! great! The Iraqis will sure benefit from the skill of both of us! Me War Czar and you, Commander-in-Chief of the free world! Thanks, dear friend.”