Trump Tower Fire Blamed on Reality Distortion Field Generator

Fire at Trump Tower
Fire at Trump Tower

(New York) Ucs News- Unconfirmed sources report that the fire at Trump International Hotel and Tower in New York was caused by the overheating of a Reality Distortion Field Generator.  The New York City Fire Department responded to the 52-story building and quickly put out the fire. No one had to be evacuated from the Trump tower.

The Reality Distortion Field Generator(RDFG) in question was recently installed to help maintain the distortion field required to improve Mr Trump’s popularity.  It is part of a large network of such devices that is being installed around the country in Trump properties and government facilities.

The RDFG technology was pioneered by the late Steve Jobs of Apple Computer.  Job’s used the fields created by the devices to convince people that Apple products were better than the competition and worth the price premium they commanded.  It has been rumored that Apple’s new circular building is actually a massive antenna  for the next generation of RDFG technology.

Jonathan Foilcap, a technician familiar with the device at Trump Tower, a Model 3245 Generator made by Reyat Industries, speculated on what when wrong.

“The 2345 is a solid machine, but is does have it’s limits.  As part of a larger network of machines it amplifies and spreads the distortion field.  If the demands on the network are too great you can get a single node failure like this.  New York City is a very anti-Trump place, so the network here got overloaded.”

He believes that the Trump Organization will need to install many more units to get a stable and strong field in New York, let alone the rest of the nation’s urban areas..

Reality Distortion Field measuring equipment set up near the Trump International show that as of late last night the RDF was operating at about 50% of effective strength.  Expect to see much more anti-Trump sentiment in the area until the RDFG unit is replaced.

 

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