U.S. Government Behind Toyota Sudden Acceleration Problem, According to NHTSA Official

Jackson Bojetic, an official with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), candidly revealed today that the United States government covertly sabotaged millions of Toyota vehicles in an effort to remove the Japanese autos from the road and to increase sales and production of American made vehicles.

“I personally sabotaged many of the vehicles”, Bojetic reveal to Unconfirmed Sources. “Now I feel really bad about it. Keep in mind, I was one of many”.

Bojetic described installing tiny micro devices that could be remotely activated from anywhere which could cause vehicles to suddenly accelerate while overriding the vehicles acceleration and braking systems and make it seem like the problem was with the car. The devices also carried tiny GPS devices which could tell the person tracking the vehicle where it was at any given time. After the vehicle crashed or careened out of control, one of the government people involved with the conspiracy would simply go to where the car was and remove the device.

“This is why Toyota can’t find anything wrong with the acceleration systems!” Bojetic revealed. “There is nothing wrong with them! The government wants to sell more American cars and the best way to do that is to stop people from buying Japanese cars!”

NHTSA spokesperson Ritchie Romalio disputed Bojetic’s claims. “The guy’s full of crap! We’re here to make the roads safer, not more dangerous! It’s them evil Japanese that are to blame! They’re the ones selling the dangerous cars!”

Romalio pointed out that the Japanese have been nursing a grudge against the United States since they were defeated in World War II.

Romalio said he would immediately fire Bojetic. Bojetic protested that he cannot be fired because he is a whistleblower and, by law, whistleblowers cannot be fired.

“But they CAN mysteriously vanish!” Romalio pointed out.