Keenly aware, though slightly paranoid, Denver, Colorado residents are proposing an “Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission” to help protect the city in the event of UFOs and alien takeovers.
“We can’t be too careful”, said Denver UFO researcher and Natural Law political candidate Jeff Peckman. “There is always that chance that aliens are coming here to feast on humans. If they do, the residents of Denver will be prepared while every other person in the United States will be served au jus on a plate with dinner rolls.”
The ballot initiative reads: “City and County of Denver Ballot Question Initiated ordinance 300: shall the voters for the city and county of Denver adopt an initiated ordinance to require the creation of an extraterrestrial affairs commission to help ensure the health, safety, and cultural awareness of Denver residents and visitors in relation to potential encounters or interactions with extraterrestrial intelligent beings or their vehicles, and fund such commission from grants, gifts and donations?”
“I think it should be on the ballot!” said 24 year old Denver manicurist Sylvia Platt. “UFOs are here! I don’t want to be menu for some green people from God-knows-where!”
Peckman, who also promotes Metatron Technology, which he says defends against “harmful electromagnetic waves” by transforming them into “desirable healthy energy” , says we need to protect ourselves now because “alien invasion in imminent!”
Not all residents of Denver agreed with the planned initiative. Denver stock researcher Clyde Jones asked, “has everyone gone crazy? If it wasn’t for the skiing I’d move out of this crazy place!”
The aliens which have been watching Denver for the past three decades were unavailable for comment.