Saturday, December 31, 2005
In an effort to keep all the joy and happiness of 2005 alive, Unconfirmed Sources gives you a rather windy re-cap of the year that was:
January 2005: The flap over United States President George W. Bush’s telling the White House press corps that he has “a Man Date” due to his 52% election win continues, outraging the very Evangelical Christians that elected him. Ralph Reed, head of the Christian Coalition, denounces Mr. Bush for his new Gay lifestyle and condemns Man Dates in general.
The entire planet is captivated by scenes of the Boxing Day Tsunami devastation, sending buckets of cash to Thailand and South Asia while more than 70,000 Sudanese are killed in civil wars and by the ongoing drought. 2.1 million Sudanese don sarongs and scotch tape back their eyes in an attempt to appear more Asian and apply for Thai citizenship just to stay alive. They are turned away when Thai officials realize donations will dry up if people think their money will go to starving and limbless Africans instead of cute little Asian children.
February: As if Man Dates weren’t enough, The White House also shows it’s commitment to Gay Rights when it is discovered that one of the Presidents favorite reporters is actually a Conservative Christian Republican Homosexual Military Prostitute named Jeff Gannon