Inadvertently, I mentioned in a recent Unconfirmed Sources article, that we had a ‘mole’ (spy) in the White House who passes on to us via a ‘drop’ what the Bush people want to withhold from the public.
Wow! Three armed guys dressed in combat camouflage knocked on my door this morning and flashed FBI ID’s at me. Pushing me aside, they stormed in, handcuffed me to my kitchen sink and proceeded to dismantle my computer and go through everything in the house. ” Do you have a search warrant?” I angrily asked.
They looked at each other in amazement. The leader of the three said, ” We work for Bush, and you speak of a SEARCH WARRANT?”
They all roared with laughter.
After apparently coming up empty-handed in their searching, they slapped me around a bit and the boss one looked at me coldly.. “You had better tell us now who the White House traitor is, or off to Guantanamo you go where we have some Blackwater types with Gonzales-authorized torture machines imported from Syria…. and I guarantee you’ll loosen up!”
One of the three opened up his briefcase and brought out a huge hypodermic syringe and a vial of something and proceeded to fill the syringe.
After very short internal deliberation, (I figured that I better talk, or who knows what?) …”NO, NO! DON.T USE THAT THING, DON’T SEND ME TO GUANTANAMO……. IT’S LAURA BUSH!” I cried out and burst into tears, at my revelation.
The boss guy turned pale. “…LAURA BUSH! You’re SURE?”
” Yes, I swear it’s the truth!” I responded, bathed in sweat.
The boss guy turned to his two agents who were trembling.One was throwing up. ” How do we handle this, guys?” he whispered hoarsely.
” I think we better go to O’Reilly’s Bar, have a drink, drop our badges down the toilet and disappear..” moaned one of the agents.
They quietly left….I heard them drive away, and I had to break the kitchen pipe as they forgot to undo the handcuffs. I’m writing this as the water is rising to my knees…….
“I’m so sorry, Laura, really I am!”
(Disclaimer)> For you, dear reader who is devoid of a sense of humor, this is SATIRE!