University of Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr Resigns after Epic Upset

(Ann Arbor, Michigan)University of Michigan Football coach, Lloyd Carr, resigned today. At a tearful morning press conference coach Carr said that the loss to Appalachian State had sealed it. “This was going to be my last season, but this loss makes it clear to me that for the good the program I need to go.” The surprise resignation of Carr was quickly followed by the resignation of the left side of the defensive line, University President Mary Sue Coleman, hot dog vendor Bill Smith, the Marching Band Drum corps and the ‘Cow Bell Guy.’

The wave of resignations was caused by a massive upset dealt to the No 5 Wolverines by the Division I Appalachian State Mountaineers. The defeat is being called one of the greatest upsets in college football history.

“It’s the fans. The fans are the ones who could have made the difference in this game.” Says resigning hot dog vendor Bill Smith. “If I have worked faster the fans would have been in their seats cheering on the team to victory. Instead they where stuck in line waiting for me. I didn’t pull my weight yesterday. I can see that. We all figured Appalachian State would be a walk over and we just didn’t get up for the game. I blame myself for the loss.”

“I to feel responsible for the loss,” says a heart broken ‘Cow Bell Guy’. “All through the game people kept yelling ‘MORE COW BELL’, but I didn’t listen. I just figured the team would rally and win the thing. I stayed on my regular game plan even after it was obvious I need to change it up. We need a new ‘Cow Bell Guy’, I just don’t have what it takes any more.”

Many Michigan fans are still in shock over the defeat and are demanding major changes to the program. One time will tell if the changes underway will made the difference.