University of Texas Offers George W. Bush $1000 for Speech


The University of Texas reportedly former president George W. Bush $1000 today to deliver a speech to graduate students interested in a career in politics. However, Bush declined the offer.

“I’m flattered that a university would offer to allow me to speak”, Bush told the Houston Chronicle. “However, I would have to pay my own hotel room, meals and transportation costs and I would be losing $50 on the deal. If they can come up with another $50 0r $60 I would happily oblige”.

University of Texas president William Powers, Jr. said the deal is all or nothing. “If Mr. Bush stays in a cheap motel and rents a cheap car he can still make money on this deal. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We won’t make this offer again!”

Other former presidents have been paid over $1 million for an on-campus speech but Powers says Bush does not deserve that kind of money.

“Bush ruined the country, destroyed our economy, led us into war against countries that were no threat to us and caused endless grief and suffering”, Powers stated. “He should be glad we’re offering him anything at all!”

Bush defiantly refuted Powers claims. “The University of Tokyo has offered me $2000 plus hotel room for a speech! So tell Powers to take his offer and stick it up his ass!”

Powers later withdrew his offer to Bush and offered Former president Bill Clinton $1 million for a speech. The former president accepted the offer on condition that he be given a tour of the all-girl dorm.