Vast New Oilfield Discovered in Darfur, Bush Seeks Sanctions on Sudan

Washington, DC (APE) – President Bush today reversed a four year administration policy in regards to the government of Sudan by officially recognizing what it considered to be government endorsed genocide in the western Darfur region and insisting that it would bring a request for sanctions to the United Nations. Halliburton inc. later confirmed that a heretofore unknown deposit of crude oil had been discovered last month in the heart of the disputed region.

The new deposit, according to a Halliburton spokesperson, has the potential for production far surpassing that of problematic and equally disputed fields under American control in Iraq.

“We are working to bring an end to this conflict,” stated Administration spokesman Dana Perrino. “We will attempt to work with the United Nations in an effort to bring all parties to the bargaining table and arrive at legislation which will allow everyone to share in the profits. If the United Nations cannot comply with our modest proposals, we are prepared to go it alone.”

The Administration also announced that it had successfully concluded negotiations for a no-bid contract with Halliburton to provide security and to further develop resources for the people of Darfur. The president will later this week ask congress for an additional emergency Iraq War supplemental bill for approximately $50 billion to cover the monies appropriated from the original $120 billion bill signed last week.