In a stunning upset to the traditional two party candidates, Libertarian Warren Redlich was elected governor of New York in a landslide victory today.
Disgruntled New York voters shunned candidates Democrat Mario Cuomo and Tea-Party backed Republican Carl Paladino in favor of the political newcomer Redlich. Cuomo and Paladino came in third and fourth in the race respectively being eclipsed by Redlich and anti-prohibitionist candidate and former “Manhattan Madam” Kirsten Davis.
“The people have declared that they are sick and tired of politics as usual”, Redlich declared in his victory speech. “The people of New York will take back their state!”
Davis hopes Redlich will find a spot for her in his new administration. “Let Freedom ring!” she shouted from her horse drawn carriage.
Cuomo and Paladino will be examining where they went wrong in the hotly contested race. “It was his fault”, they said simultaneously while pointing at each other.
Redlich claims he will attempt to bring back the United States Constitution which, according to many sources, has become an antiquated document that has been interpreted nearly out of existence.
Paladino expressed displeasure with Redlich’s plan. “We can’t make government work with that old rag!” he stated in reference to the Constitution. “All we need is a truckload of money and all our problems will be solved!”