Are you, as I am, getting tired of the same old news being repeated over and over…Rove, bridges collapsing, dog fights, Britney Spears, Mines caving in….. Well, here is the REALLY BIG ONE!

WASHINGTON – The wheel was invented in 5322 BC by a Mesopotamian named Ghul Dasji. Last week, the Washington law firm of Gold, Westerson and Rupert P.A. representing Atlanta convenience store owner Boq Dasji, received a patent for the wheel (US Pat.# G4588724-07).

“We were rather amazed that no one thought, over all these years, to obtain a patent on this device,” said attorney Harold Gold. “We did a great deal of research down through the years, including DNA testing and searching through ancient records. We can say conclusively, and without doubt, that Mr. Dasji is the legitimate ancestor and heir of Ghul. The U.S. Patent Office concurs, and has issued Mr. Dasji a patent, through our efforts. Mr. Dasji will receive a royalty for every wheel made world wide after January 1, 2008 and, as his legal representative, Gold, Westerson & Rupert will be paid four percent of Mr. Dasji’s royalties for the next fifteen years.”

Interviewed in his Atlanta convenience store, QUICK BUY, 55-year-old Boq Dasji said, yes, he was aware that he now held the patent on the wheel. “The lawyers tell me that my annual income in royalties will be about $695 million. My wife Rizza and my five kids were very happy to find that Ghul was our ancestor. I’m going to open a few more stores.”

The news of the patenting of the wheel sent worldwide shock waves through every manufacturer of wheeled devices. “We are involved in emergency development of something to replace the wheel,” said Kenneth Lowery, a spokesman for Ford Motors.

Nancy Sanderson of the Pulley, Gear and Transmission Manufacturers’ Institute was questioned as to whether the new patent would affect those industries. “No, our attorney has determined that to be called a ‘wheel’, it must contact the ground at some time, such as an aircraft wheel. Thank the Lord, our industry will remain unaffected,” she said.