We Didn't Take Pentagon Money!

Unconfirmed Sources Publisher Kamal El-Din went before a battery of reporters today and denied that his publication Unconfirmedsources.com(UCS) had taken any money from the Pentagon. El-Din denied the charges that UCS received cash for the placement of happy Iraq stories written by the Pentagon. “We didn’t take any money. We didn’t take any money from the Pentagon or from the Lincoln Group, ok? We took our payments in prostitutes, but not money.”

El-Din what forced into making the public statement by growing pressure from readers and media watchdog groups that had grown concerned about USC’s independence. “In the worsening media climate a stain on the objectivity of a news source must be met head on if a news outlet is to maintain faith with it’s readers.” Said FOX personality Bill O’Reilly. “I’m glad he did it. That guy has a lot of guts, unlike that bastard Keith Olbermann.

Brook Gladstone of NPR’s On the Media said El-Din didn’t go far enough. “Do I think the statements by UCS publisher Kamal El-din have cleared the air on this issue? Not on your life. The admission by El-Din that they got paid in professional services by a bunch of high class call girls doesn’t change that fact that UCS ran stories planted by the Pentagon. The credibility of the whole UCS publishing empire needs to be called into question. So they didn’t take any money, big deal. They still knowingly ran the stories so they just can’t be considered a credible new source..”

Critics aside, many people are still finding UCS to be a valuable news source that they will not easly give up. When asked if he would stop reading UCS Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said, “No, I said I would take it under advisement and take a look at it. I’m not going to make a judgment off the top of my head. And I’m kind of old-fashioned. I like to engage my brain before my mouth.”

Rumsfeld said that the articles planted in UCS were “truthful,” but he added, “I am not going to defend it, because I don’t have sufficient knowledge about what actually was done at what level by whom and for what purpose.”

El-Din indicated that as long as the girls keep coming he would keep publishing “that rubbish they send over from he Pentagon”, because the girls are very very hot.