WHAT ARE SOME OF THE OTHER THINGS MAKING NEWS BESIDE BUSH?


We frequently contact our ‘expert on everything,’ Dr. Sawtooth, to answer a submitted question.

Francis Xavier Ginsberg of Palm Coast, Alaska, asks: ” Why is the news the same every day with minor variations? Are other things going on? If so, what?

Sawtooth: With all the major news happenings being well covered here on Unconfirmed Sources, I scouted around to see what else I could come up with. Here’s what I found:

I came across the IG Nobel Prize awards held annually by Harvard University.
In a gala ceremony hosted by genuine Nobel Laureates. The awards are for actual strange and offbeat research in various disciplines. I don’t know what the “IG” stands for, possibly ‘ignoble?’ Here are some of the winners:

ORNITHOLOGY: Ivan R. Schwab of the University of California Davis, and the late Philip R.A. May of the University of California Los Angeles, for exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don’t get headaches.

NUTRITION: Wasmia Al-Houty of Kuwait University and Faten Al-Mussalam of the Kuwait Environment Public Authority, for showing that dung beetles are finicky eaters.

ACOUSTICS: D. Lynn Halpern (of Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates, and Brandeis University, and Northwestern University), Randolph Blake (of Vanderbilt University and Northwestern University) and James Hillenbrand (of Western Michigan University and Northwestern University) for conducting experiments to learn why people dislike the sound of fingernails scraping on a blackboard.

MATHEMATICS: Nic Svenson and Piers Barnes of the Australian Commonwealth Scientific and Research Organization for calculating the number of photographs you must take to (almost) ensure that nobody in a group photo will have their eyes closed

LITERATURE: Daniel Oppenheimer of Princeton University for his report “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly.”

MEDICINE: Francis M. Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine, for his medical case report “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage”;

PHYSICS: Basile Audoly and Sebastien Neukirch of the Universit