WASHINGTON — Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Monday staunchly defended going to war in Iraq, but acknowledged the Bush administration likely erred by failing initially to send enough troops to quell the civil strife that followed the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.
Four years later and after more than 3,200 deaths of U.S. servicemen and women, Rice said patience still is required and asserted anew that the Iraqis are making headway in completing the transition toward democracy.
In a heretofore undisclosed meeting between a Democratic Congressmen who for obvious reasons must remain unnamed, and Secretary of State Rice, a source at the meeting told Unconfirmed Sources that truth serum (Sodium Thiopental) was surreptitiously slipped into Rice’s coffee.
After waiting a while for the serum to take affect, ‘Congressman X’ interviewed Dr. Rice… who heretofore has been unwavering in her support for President Bush, his minions, and their every decision.
A transcript of the meeting was secretly obtained exclusively by Unconfirmed Sources:
X = Unnamed Congressman R-=Dr. Rice
X: “Thank you for consenting to this private meeting, Dr. Rice. As you know, many of us in Congress are having misgivings, after five years, as to the progress of the war in Iraq, and I would like to get your current opinion on the situation.”
R: “I shall be happy to answer your questions, Congressman (deleted), Of course, as you can ascertain from my previous statements, my President, bless his soul, is unerring, fluent, indisputable,unequivocal, unquestionable, trustful, profound, obedient, cheerful, thrifty brave, clean and reverent….this coffee tastes like shit.”
X: “I’m sorry about that. I’ll have an aide bring you a fresh cup. Dr. Rice, the war has been going on for five years and we in congress are becoming very concerned and would very much like to get our troops out of this mess. Do you have any suggestions?”
R: “Well what do you expect from our brainless idiot of a president who can’t speak without a teleprompter and has all his decisions made by Cheney, Rove and that White House gang of his!”
X: “I’m surprised at your being so candid at this meeting, Dr. Rice, when you heretofore defended his every action.”
R: ” Of course I gotta flatter him and support his every foolish move….look what happened to Colin Powell. He disagreed on things and they threw him out. I like that eighty five hundred dollar check I get every month.”
X: “To get back to my original question, Dr. Rice, what should we do about the present situation in Iraq?”
R: ” Well first off, you must realize that no one above the rank of Colonel knows anything about what is going on there. All troops below that rank are out shooting Sunnis and Shiites, All above that rank NEVER go outside the Green Zone, and have no idea what’s going on.”
X: “Well what about (General) Petraeus? He apparently agrees with the President and his ‘surge’ strategy.”
R: ” Of course! It took him a long time to get those stars. If he disagreed with the President, he would be out on his ass in a hurry.”
X: So to sum it up, Dr. Rice, what should we do?”
R: “One, get those kids who were told that if they enlisted, they would be sent to Palm Springs, out of that Iraqi shooting gallery tomorrow! Impeach Bush and Cheney. Send Rove and Gonzalez to Guantanamo and have the torture boys from Blackwater practice on him. Reestablish Democracy back here and stop trying to use it overseas as an excuse to corner the world’s oil. “
X: “Thank you Dr. Rice.”
R: “Thank you, Congressman (deleted). for having me. I have another meeting at the White House shortly, and have to practice my ‘little miss goody two shoes’ facade and kiss up to all those idiots…… what a way to make a living!”