Washington, DC (Rotters) – The White House today issued a press release in regards to a “lurking Vice President Cheney” caught on film yesterday during President Bush’s Rose Garden press conference, insisting that Mr. Cheney was there only as a show of support for the president. Many present had felt it strange that the Vice President would be standing almost concealed in the bushes at such a great distance from the press conference.
“We are just attempting to set the record straight in regards to the disrespectful rumors circulating throughout the media over the the Vice President’s attendance yesterday” the release stated. “The Vice President does not in any way suffer from any type of blood borne disease that necessitates his avoidance of direct sunlight. Neither is there any need for a required effective distance between he and the president for some type of transceiver device. People insistent upon spreading the puppet/puppet master analogy are just asking for a fine Howdy Doody one day.”
“Mr. Cheney was simply at the press conference yesterday hunting for a way to be a motivator for the president,” the release continued. “He simply felt that the distance that he maintained was more of a challenge for both of them, and far more sporting. The Vice President regrets that he was unable to remain concealed and camouflaged throughout the event yesterday, and ironically served as a distraction or decoy from the president’s message.”
“Let there be no mistake.” the release concluded. “The Vice President was present yesterday merely as a show of support and not some form of intimidation. The impression that this administration is somehow “under the gun” in some way to stay on target with its message is just a stray bullet-point from some Democrat political memo.”