White House Admits Secret Deal on UAE Takeover of American Ports

Washington, DC (Rotters) – An anonymous White House source today admitted that documentation uncovered by the press did indeed reveal a secret agreement between the Bush administration and Dubai Port World for operation of six major American seaports. The source also admitted that contrary to published reports yesterday, the president had indeed been aware of and involved with the deal from the onset.

The deal has come under heated criticism from Democrats as well as formerly staunch Bush supporting Republicans. The chief concern appears to be over security and national integrity in management of the ports. Critics point out the UAE’s checkered past in regards to 9/11 and its support for terrorism.

The anonymous White House source went on to explain that the real tragedy lies in the exposure of the deal. He stated that the deal was the culmination of years of surveillance and intelligence gathering by multiple agencies, and the groundwork for a sting operation that was designed to quietly and efficiently round up the last vestiges of international terrorists.

The sting operation was set to begin as soon as DPW took over management of ports across the nation. DPW would present itself to Al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations in the Middle East as a friendly route of covert access into the United States for terrorists and equipment. Upon arrival, terrorist concerns would simply be culled off and routed to the CIA for processing.

“This plan was simplicity in itself,” the anonymous source stated, “but now it’s ruined. These damned leaks are killing me… er… us.”

The anonymous source went on to say that the president, however, still intends to push for the deal despite objections from Congress and the House of Representatives. “Despite the revelation of our secret sting operation, I … um… we stand to make a boatload of money out of this.”