White House Aids Nicole Smith

Washington, DC (O! Online) Anna Nicole Smith has found a new fan in the White House. Embroiled in a lawsuit over the estate of her late husband, Texas oil millionaire J. Howard Marshall II, her legal team was contacted by the White House with an offer to help represent her before her latest appeal to the Supreme Court.

A Bush administration spokesman insists that they want only to represent Ms. Smith in regards to technicalities and a position that argues that the justices should protect federal court jurisdiction in disputes.

Ms. Smith likely will attend the hour long argument on February 28. The Bush administration expressed hope that Judge Samuel Alito, a long-standing supporter of strip searches, will be installed by that time.

White House spokesperson Scott McClellan reluctantly admitted that the president is a longtime fan of Ms. Smith and enjoys watching her on television in between football games.

There are a number of similarities between Bush and Smith. Both grew up in Texas and largely benefited throughout their lives through scandal and innuendo. Smith was a ninth-grade dropout and Bush successfully bluffed his way through a degree at Yale. Both have had some public and not so public struggles with substance abuse.

There are differences. Bush has a predilection and penchant for torture, while Smith is strictly into self exposure.

McClellan read a statement from the president, “My heart goes out to this poor woman, whom I might add is the latest member of the Pioneers and Rangers. I have daughters too, and it would really pain me to have to see them go through the same experience.”