White House Demands Time Magazine Kill GOP/Abramoff Cover Story

Unconfirmed sources report that the White House has demanded Time Magazine kill next weeks cover story. The story, ‘Can the GOP Survive’, is about the growing Jack Abramoff scandal that threatens to destroy the Republican party. The White House has cited national security as its basis for demanding the prior censorship of the story. Time has delayed the story, but claims that it will run it in the future.

The White House learned of the story two days ago during a routine sweep of Time Magazines computers by the NSA and acted quickly to stop the story. Top officials from the Bush administration contacted senior editors at Time and demanded the story be killed. Time was told that printing the story would damage the President and the ruling Republican party and would also give aid and comfort to the terrorists who are probing the American Government for weaknesses at every moment.

Time officials denied the request, but later agree to delay the story when armed Federal Marshals surrounded the building. The White House claims the Marshals are there to protect Time in case of any ‘possible’ or ‘probable’ terrorist activity.

Unconfirmed Sources has received a draft copy of the story, in which several high ranking un-indicted Republicans speak openly about the future of the party.

One unnamed Republican Congressman who is considered by many to be a maverick even said he was contemplating a third party candidacy in the 2008 election. “This party has forgotten what it stands for.” Said the official. “I didn’t join this party to support crazy spending and torture of foreigners. I joined this party to cut spending and deny our own citizens their rights. Bush, Abramoff, Delay and Frist have gone off the rails and taken the party with them. It’s time these guys listened to some straight talk about where the American people want to take this country.”

Time Magazine and the White House have both declined to comment on this story.