White House Editorial- Unnamed Source Speaks Out

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

(As reported to Chuck Terzella)

As a member of the Administration of a current sitting President, I feel it would be improper for me to identify myself ( editors note: Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse), so I beg your indulgence and pen this editorial anonymously. Still, I feel compelled, not to act as an apologist for the White House, but as an advocate for a man who has no need of an… advocation, even though he’s gotten two openings on the Supreme Court to fill.

Much has been written and posted on this and other Liberal websites that can be taken, in the most literal sense, as derogatory towards President George W. Bush. This is due, I feel, to not so much to disagreement but to a basic misunderstanding of both the man and his policies. So, in the spirit of bipartisanship, I will attempt to explain to both the left-wing, homosexual loving, devil worshiping abortionists who publish this excretory voidance and their readers exactly what the so called Republican Agenda is all about. I say so called because George W. Bush is not interested in Republicans or Democrats or Independents, but in all White Fundamentalist Christians, regardless of their political affiliations. And contrary to popular belief the President does not care only about the wealthiest two percent; as long as you blindly follow him it doesn’t matter how poor you are. After all, most Evangelicals are really poor and George Bush loves them, as long as they vote for him, as I’ve said.

A great deal has been made of the war in Iraq, how it has no connection to the war on Terror, how the intelligence that President Bush cited was at best wrong, at worst blatant lies designed to scare the crap out of well meaning but unintelligent Americans in order to garner support for a pre-emptive and possibly illegal occupation of a sovereign nation. Whatever, the point is that it worked and that’s what’s important. You want your President to succeed, because when he succeeds America succeeds and when America succeeds you