White House Installs New Military Ray Gun

Washington, DC (APE) – Visitors and tourists of the White House today were treated to a newly modified skyline atop the oval office. On advice of the president himself, White House security has adopted the newly unveiled Raytheon microwave crowd control technology. The president was said to have taken a personal interest in the security update, possibly recognizing its importance in light of growing domestic unrest in regards to his continued refusal to bend to the will of the American public and withdraw from Iraq.

The high-tech “ray gun” emits what are called millimeter waves which are said to barely penetrate the top surface layer of the skin and induce a sudden 130