White House Introduces Its Version of Monopoly: Iraqopoly

(Washington, D.C.) It’s not Uncle Pennybags but Uncle Sam who will be the central figure in The White House version of Monopoly. Iraqopoly will be making its debut in time for the 2006 holiday season, so claims a White House press release. The inspiration came from Hasbro, the makers of Monopoly, updating the game with a Monopoly: Here & Now version. The White House version will be Iraqopoly: Iraq & The Middle East.

Iraqopoly is a joint effort between The White House and the Department of Defense. Like the new version of Monopoly, Iraqopoly will have more current game items, tokens like a sandal similar to the ones used to beat images of Saddam Hussein during the early stages of the Iraq liberation. And citizens of both the United States and Iraq will be able to vote for all of the tokens and property names, again similar to Hasbro’s new game. Simply go to www.thewhitehouse.org to cast your vote. Along with the sandal, choices for tokens are an IED, headless statue of Saddam Hussein and an oil drill with Halliburton written on it. President Bush issued the following statement on the voting. “People in the Unites States already know, as the good folks of Iraq are beginning to know, that it’s not only important to vote but to vote often in order to get the result that you want.”

At a rare press conference held at a Georgetown Toys R Us, Donald Rumsfeld was quick to assuage any potential fear of blind bids. ” I want the people of America as well as the people of Iraq to know that neither the tokens nor the property have been claimed. Everything is up for grabs, just like in Iraq.” Rumsfeld went on to say that while he was more of a “Battleship man” due to his Navy service, “The concept of Iraq, Monopoly and the United States seemed to be made for each other.”

Rumsfeld was in good spirits despite recent calls for his resignation over his handling of the Iraq war by several retired generals. The Secretary of Defense gave out Geoffrey Dollars, joking, “How much of these for an armored hummer?” Rumsfeld said that he was confident the people of Iraq would welcome White House Iraqopoly. However, when asked if Iranopoly would be available by Spring 2007? Secretary Rumsfeld replied with, “No comment”.

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