White House Pushes a Newfound Confidence


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Washington, DC (Rotters) – The Bush administration returned to work this week appearing refreshed and rejuvenated after the president received a clean bill of health from a colonoscopy over the weekend. The president participated in a relaxing strategy session with top administration officials over the weekend, and White House sources stated that he was ready to jump back into the fray in Washington.

“It appears that the endless stream of manufactured political scandals is at an ebb,” stated White House press secretary Tony Snow. The administration seemed to be quietly celebrating the vindication of the vice president in regards to the dismissal of the Valerie Plame lawsuit last week. “We look forward to the appearance of Alberto Gonzales before Congress today, and anticipate the wholehearted support of the august body in the Attorney General’s ongoing campaign to repair the Justice Department’s unfairly sullied reputation. The administration would again caution people that not knowing or forgetting is not a crime in and of itself, no matter what proof might exist to the contrary. We look forward to the Democrat Party’s eventually giving up on this unprecedented “fishing expedition” and its protracted assault on the concept of “the unitary executive privilege”.”

The White House maintained that it would stay fast on its refusal to allow former officials to testify under subpoena from Congress.

“At this point the surge in Iraq remains delicate, and casualties have predictably continued to escalate,” stated Snow. “As we have pointed out previously a large part of the blame for these recent failures has to lie at the feet of the cavalier behavior of leading Democrats who appear to be insisting upon defeat for America rather than in exhibiting some patience and sticking with the agreed upon review of the situation sometime in November, December, or January. Iraq will not become another Vietnam so long as this president remains in office.”