White House Releases Approved Debate Topics For Iraq War

The White House has released the a list of approved debate topics to quell the controversy surrounding the Iraq war and discussions about pre-war intelligence exagerations and falsehoods. The list of approved topics will help guide the public and the media as America engages in a national discussion about the war and the events leading up to it. Initial response to the list has been very positive as many people have been afraid to talk about Iraq for fear of being called dishonest and reprehensible or even corrupt and shameless.

The White House released a statement by the President that affirmed that Bush believed, “There should be an honest, open discussion about Iraq and people should feel comfortable about expressing their opinions without their patriotism being questioned. This is a worthy debate, but people must be kept on track so they don’t go believing things they shouldn’t”

“I can’t tell you what a relief this is to people like me.” Says D.C. resident Bob Jenkins. “I’ve been a little afraid to talk about Iraq, because I didn’t want to say the wrong things. And you really need to be careful about that around here. Now all I have to do is remember a few approved topics and I’m good to go. The list has made me feel more confident and I finally have a social life again. No more hours spent analyzing FOX News and listening to Rush, now I have the secrets to talk about Iraq.”

The White House rushed the list of approved topics to the presses this week to have them ready for the serious political talk that always surrounds the Thanksgiving Day holiday.

“It is very important that Americans know what to say and think about Iraq, especially with all the up coming discussion on the topic.” Said White House spokesman Ben Lion. “We can’t have people shooting their mouths off and creating the appearance that America is not united and 100% behind our troops and the President.”

The Vice President also spoke in favor of the approved list of topics.

“I do not believe it is wrong to criticize the war on terror or any aspect of the Iraq war that is on the approved list.” Said Cheney. “What is not legitimate, and what I will again say is dishonest and reprehensible, is the suggestion by some U.S. senators that the president . . . misled the American people on prewar intelligence. That topic is not on the approved list and discussion of it is revisionism of the most corrupt and shameless variety. Discussions of other topics, not on the list, will certainly have an insidious effect on the war effort itself.”

Democrats are said to be studying the list and have already agreed in principle to abide by its recommendations.