Why Nuking Iran is a Very Good Thing

From the right and always right, commentary by Randy Wright.

Iran? We should nuke them. I mean it. I think we should quit messing around and get down to business with these guys. Dick Cheney has got it right, those Iranian terrorists need to know we mean business. Nuking Iran is a very good thing and here’s why:

Nuking Iran will send a positive message. It’s obvious that invading Iraq and getting our butts beat is not sending the right kind of message. We need a new one. The Arab world needs to know that the USA is the one and only super power and we aim to keep it that way. Dropping the big one on Tehran will be like saying, “Don’t mess with the USA baby!” This type of strong signal will put a real damper on extremism across the Arab world. Terrorist thugs and criminals with realize that attacking the USA is futile and just get on with their lives instead of wasting them on some stupid Anti-USA jihad.

Nuking Iran will be good for American business. Can you imagine the reconstruction and decontamination expenses? Someone is going to have to put Iran back together and only American companies have the reach and capacity to take on a job like that. The reconstruction contracts that will be awarded to foreign subsidiaries of American companies will be worth billions maybe trillions. And oil prices! That is where American companies will really make a killing. As world oil prices skyrocket the share price of American oil companies will soar. The jump in oil company share prices will also bring billions of dollars into our newly privatized Social Security system. Talk about good for America.

Nuking Iran will be good for morale. Let’s face it. Americans have a real hard on when it comes to those Iranians. I think the entire country would feel better knowing we finally got them back for taking our embassy staff hostage all those years ago. I know I would. And the Iran-Contra scandal, someone has to get punished for that mess. I think it is about time Iran was held accountable.

Nuking Iran will also allow us to ‘test’ our newest bomb without violating the Test Ban Treaty. It wouldn’t be a ‘test’, now would it? Not that I give a damn about any treaty the USA has ever signed.

Nuking Iran would keep them from nuking us first. Why do you think the Iranians want the bomb? They want the bomb to keep us from nuking them. So we had better nuke them first before they get the chance to nuke us.

So, Dick, Condi, next time Junior Bush is taking a nap why don’t you just do us all a favor and nuke the Iranians. It would be a very good thing and besides, you know you want to.

So there you have it. I’m Randy Wright, from the right and always right.