Widespread And Pervasive Prisoner Abuse By U.S. Military Found to be Isolated Events!

Unconfirmed sources report that numerous and widespread cases of prisoner abuse by the US military are all unrelated and isolated events. Military investigators have studied the hundreds of reports from US troop deployments around the world and cannot find a pattern. The report titled ‘No Pattern Found in Widespread and Pervasive Abuse’ was leaked to Unconfirmed Sources several days ago and is undergoing careful analysis by our staff and other non-governmental groups.

A summery of the controversial report was entered into evidence by military lawyers who are trying to convict Private Lynndie England for offenses she supposedly committed while at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. The report was presented to the military court, but will not be released to the public for security reasons. Military prosecutors are using the report to prove that the events at Abu Ghraib were just an isolated instance, like many others, where a few soldiers violated military procedures.

The report documents hundreds of reports of abuse from US deployments in Iraq, Cuba, Bosnia, South Korea, Japan, Germany, Afghanistan, Italy, England, Kuwait, Turkey, Qatar, Kosovo, Egypt, and the Philippines. The report indicates that while the abuse documented was similar in many instances, no common pattern that linked the individual events together could be found. “I was surprised that with all that information they had and the time they spent studying it that they couldn’t find a pattern,” Said a retired military lawyer. “The military had the best and brightest working on this one and they still came up empty. I can only guess that after all that work that there must be no systematic problem.”

Human rights organizations that have help Unconfirmed Sources assess the report and agree. “It looks like just a large number of a few bad apples.” Said Hans Dinkmeyer of Amnesty International. “I have to say that we were biased going into the situation. We figured there had to by a systemic failure of US military policy that led to these reports of torture, but we were wrong. We would further like to apologize to the brave men and women of the American military for even suggesting that there was a larger problem.”

Dinkmeyer went on to encourage the US military justice system to come down hard on all the individual service people who are obviously responsible for the crisis of confidence that world has in the fairness of the US military. “They really need to land on these bad apples, like Private Lynndie England, with booth feet. People like this just can’t be allowed to give the US military a bad name. I am hopeful that once all the little players are taken care of that top brass can get on with the job of making the world a safer place”