Windows Vista, Discovery Approaching Historic Launch Ahead of Schedule

Cape Kennedy, FL (Rotters) – Thanks to a newly disclosed partnership by Redmond-based Corporation Microsoft and NASA, it was announced today that the space shuttle Discovery, which had been burdened with a computer bug that threatened to delay its upcoming launch until well past the new year, would indeed apparently be launched weeks ahead of schedule on or about December 7. An upgrade to Microsoft’s new operating system, Windows Vista, is being credited as the reason behind the accelerated launch schedule.

A proud Bill Gates revealed the partnership to those in attendance at a conference at Microsoft headquarters in Redmond, Washington. “In taking advantage of the superior graphics capabilities in this new version of Windows,” bragged Gates, “we will be able to present to the shuttle team, a far superior virtual presentation of their exterior environment, obviating their need for dangerous viewports and windshields and such. They will also be able to navigate through cumbersome checklists via elegant semi transparent thumbnail presentations which will appear on their heads up display desktop environment. Discovery will serve as an excellent vehicle for the promotion of the ease of upgrade of almost any machine to Windows Vista.”

“Every mission is always a challenge,” stated Wayne Hale, NASA shuttle program manager. “STS-116, will be no exception. One of our concerns will be online registration of our version of Windows, which Microsoft insists will have to take place in orbit, as this will be the primary location that the software will be utilized. If we are not able to successfully maintain a satellite link from orbit to Redmond, the mission runs the risk of having the shuttle’s operating system shut down after one week if it is not successfully registered and antipiracy agreements submitted. Every member of the STS-116 crew has committed to memory the registration key as a system of redundant back-up, should problems arise.”

Microsoft is touting Vista as the most stable and secure version of Windows to date, and its first major upgrade since the successful Windows XP. Vista, however, will not be available to the public until after the new year, unless through manufacturer agreements for new computer sales. A spokesperson for Microsoft denied the rumor that the delay in release until after the new year was an attempt to minimize the space shuttle Discovery’s exposure to hackers prior to launch. Plans are to have the remainder of America’s shuttle fleet, and eventually the International Space Station declared Windows Vista capable by the end of the year.