Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Governor Walker has hired the The Dog to return the missing Democratic Senators to the State House. The Dog, and his team have been briefed by the Governor and have already begun their search. The 14 Democratic Senators are believed to be hiding out in Illinois in an attempt to thwart the Governors plans to gut state employee labor unions.
“We need to get those fugitive Senators back here so Governor Walker can ram this legislation thought,” Says the governor’s spokesmen Ben Lyon. “So we hired the best bounty hunter in the country to get the job done. The Dog is going to go get those cowards and haul them back here to do their jobs.”
The Dog who has captured over 6,000 scoff laws in his 27 year career and estimated that we would have the Senator in custody within a few days.
“With this many folks hiding together this job shouldn’t be too hard,” explained The Dog before his team departed. “In most cases like this some loyal citizen comes forward and lets us know where the fugitives are. We then show up and take them into custody and nobody get hurt.”
Governor Walker said in a statement that he hopes the Senators come peacefully, but if they don’t “…well that would be ok with me too.”