World Welcomes Bush's Recess Appointment of John Bolton to The United Nations

Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush administration has thwarted the will of the Senate and given John Bolton a recess appointment to be the US ambassador to the United Nations. The news of Bolton’s appointment to the UN has been greeted by celebrations and pro-Bolton rallies across the globe. The world diplomatic community is both heaving a sigh of relief and anxiously awaiting the positive changes Bolton will make. The Bolton appointment will doubtless be regarded as an historic event.

“This is just the type of bold move one can expect from President Bush.” says Middle East expert Juan Cole. “The world has been begging for a strong man from the US to badger and threaten the sovereign nations of the UN into line. I think Bolton is that guy. He is a tough, abrasive, arrogant, dishonest, radical, that will be able to speak truth to power and get the member states of the UN on our side. I think the Bolton appointment could put me out a job as his soothing manners are sure to bring peace to the Middle East in no time.”

Bolton has said that he has big plans for the UN and he knows he has the President’s full support to make the needed changes to get the UN back in line. Many members of the UN who have run ins with Bolton in the past are going public with statements of welcome and pledges to work together.

The Iranian’s who once called Bolton “rude and undiplomatic” are now praising Bolton’s “tough no non-sense” style. The North Koreans who called Bolton “human scum” and a “bloodsucker” are saying they forward to frank good natured discussions.

“The world may be embracing Bolton and welcoming him to the UN, but don’t be fooled. John has a tough job in front of him.” says Senator Norm Coleman, one of the most persistent critics of the UN. “But the bottom line is he will speak for the president of the United States. He will speak for America.”

Ben Lion, the White House press secretary, said: “It’s a critical time to be moving forward on this. The United Nations will be having their general assembly meeting in September and it’s important that we get our permanent representative in place. I mean without our man in there how is the UN going to know what to do.”