WORLD'S OLDEST WOMAN DIES AT 114

Washington> The world’s oldest person according to the Guinness Book of Records has died at age 114 in the US state of Connecticut.

Gertrude Kishel had only recently become the world’s oldest person, after the death of Emiliano Mercado Del Toro at age 115 last month. Assuming the new title is Hannah Dennis, 113, of Henderson, Nevada.

Ms. Dennis defies the traditional picture of old age. and she was asked how she retains her amazingly youthful appearance.
” First and most important, NEVER do any exercise!” she replied, “When you are born, you are given a set number of heartbeats. After they run out, you die. When you exercise, your heart beats faster and you quickly use up all them beats, so just relax, don’t do nothin’; keep them beats slow.”
Also, she continued,” I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. The tar that coats your lungs prevents the oxygen you breathe from rusting them out ….and finally, never go outside, NEVER!
that ultras violet something that comes down from the sun gives you cancer.”
Ms. Dennis’ formula for longevity seems to defy everything we’ve been told, but who can say? She made it to 113!

DISCLAIMER> The American Medical Association disassociates itself from everything in this article!