Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon Have Been Nominated For A Joint Nobel Peace Prize!

Unconfirmed sources report that Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon been nominated for a Joint Nobel Peace prize for ostensibly “dieing at the best possible moment.” The Nobel Prize committee is said to be waiting till that last moment to award the prize to see if Ariel Sharon will do what it takes to win. One committee member said, “A joint victory for the two men would indeed be a great victory for each man and the world.”

The secret joint nomination was made to the committee just days after the death of Arafat and was only unsealed today. “This is a highly unusual nomination.” Admitted Nobel chairmen Bengt Samuelsson. “Nobody has even won a Nobel Prize for dying at the right moment, especially when they haven’t died yet. This nomination was made a bit prematurely, in my opinion, but we are going to consider it, if all the conditions are met.”

The Israeli government issued a statement addressing the Peace Prize Nomination. “While Mr. Sharon is deeply gratified to be nominated for such a prize, he has no intention of winning one this way. He is in great health for a man his age and doesn’t have any plans to die of natural causes anytime soon. If the Nobel committee would like to offer a prize for suppressing Arab self-determination, Mr. Sharon would gladly accept it.”

The Palestinian Authority praised the notion of Arafat getting a second Peace Prize, but said “Getting two is really kind of selfish, so why don’t they give it to some other lucky guy.”

Middle East expert Thomas Kinderberg, of the Kinderberg Institute for World Peace, likes the idea and doesn’t think it should be dismissed out of hand. “Lets face it, there were two possible exits for Arafat – The Assasination/Martyrdom strategy, or death by natural causes. I think this was a brave and honorable move on his part, and we should honor him for it. It would be a real boon to Mid-east peace efforts if Arial Sharon followed Arafat’s lead and died soon, as well. I don’t mean to cheapen the death of anyone, but come on! These two old farts didn’t get along and the world might be a better place if both on them dropped dead.”